Burning The Penis God
No this is not a repeat from yesterday.
I would love to see what Freud would have had to say about his case…bwahahahaha. Read about it right here:
People do several things when there are problems in a marriage and they would like to save their union. Some folks are able to work things out with their mate on their own. Some folks seek the advice of pastors or marriage councilors. Some folks just start drinking a whole bunch. But this lady decided that it would be a good idea to “purify” her husbands dick with fire.
Uhhhh…back the trolley up for a second folks…I want to get off.
How in the fuck is this a good idea???? You want to save your marriage by turning your husbands crotch into “foreskin flambe.” Have you lost your fucking mind??? On what planet do you think that your man is going to say something like “thank you so much baby for roasting my member. I love you so much” or “Wow…with my new 3rd degree burn scars on my meat…it’s like ribbed for your pleasure…what a great idea honey.” I would imagine that most women that tried to set fire to their man’s boner would end up paying a trip to the proctoligst with the grim hope of having their teeth removed from their rectums after the guy knocked them the fuck out. I can tell you right now…if you try and set my cock and balls on fire, you can forget all about saving the marriage and start worrying about saving your life instead.
The woman’s logic gets even more retarded, which almost does not seem possible…but it is…and it does. Her marriage was an arranged Hindu one where she looked upon her husband as her God. (This almost makes me want to become a Hindu because that does not sound all bad, you could command things like “Your God Demands Tribute in the Form of Oral Pleasurings Thrice Daily“…but what happens next makes me chunk that thought into the mental trash compactor). When she found out that he was supporting another woman and planned to run away with her she took action. Pouring petrol into a beaker and brandishing a candle, she came into the bedroom and informed her man of her plans to burn a red dot onto the tip of his dick…similer to the one he placed on her head when they were married.
His response to this lunacy was not out of the question. He said “No, you won’t, you bitch.”
The next action he chose was pretty stupid though…he turned his back on her. Why would you turn your back on a woman who is armed with both flammable liquid and a source of flame AND had just expressed intentions of immolating your member? Regardless, the bitch snapped and chunked the beaker of petrol and the candle at his back. Of course he burst into flame and ended up setting the house ablaze in the process.
The stupid wench then was like “Oops…my drapes. And I only wanted to bake his business…not all of him. My bad.” She tries to put him out in the shower and waits with him…inside the burning house…until the ambulance arrives. Unfortunately… Mr. Crispy Crotch dies. I do hope, for his sake, that his penis escaped burning in all of this…for that would be even more tragic.
Here is the real kicker. The bitch GETS A MOTHER FUCKING SUSPENDED SENTENCE. WTF!!!???
If it had been a man that had caught his woman cheating and decided to save the marriage by unloading a bucket of Napalm into his wifes dickholster using a wet/dry shop vac set on reverse…he would probably have gotten the death sentence. Even if he, like the woman here, felt bad about it and fasted and slept on the floor. HE WOULD BE SOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKED.
This woman needs to be locked up for the rest of time…not free with NOT EVEN A SLAP ON THE WRIST.
I think “Men’s Lib” needs to come out of the woodwork and fight for the right for us to incinerate the genitals of wayward wenches. Fair is fair and this is the land of equality…right???
Frothtonomy 