Thank You Georgie Hernandez (for not killing us you stupid @#$%)
When I think about following in my father’s footsteps this is not exactly what I had in mind.
Lori's Car
Assfuck's Car
Lori and I are in her vehicle going north on I-45 yesterday when we got into an accident. Fortunately, no one was hurt. Also fortunate, for us anyway, the incident was no fault of ours. Some kid was parked on the shoulder (not the feeder folks, the actual mother fucking shoulder of the goddamn interstate) and then for some unknown reason he decided to just enter traffic without looking. This is as smart as slamming your dick into a blender while it is running and set on the liquify setting. How fucking stupid can you be?
I guess it did not occur to him that this would be a great way to find out weather the Christians or the Muslims (or neither) had the views on the afterlife correct. If Lori was driving a gas tanker this guy would probably look like my Dad did two weeks ago and I can tell you right fucking now that a gas tanker slamming into your ass does not do wonders for one’s physical appearance.
So, super douchebag enters traffic that is going seventy plus at an amazing speed of about five fucking miles per hour. I can go faster than that on a wheel chair with both of my arms tied to my balls. Who in the fuck taught this moron to drive….Stevie Wonder? Jesus… last I checked traffic moving at high speeds on the interstate has the MOTHERFUCKING RIGHT OF WAY YOU STUPID IGNORANT BAG OF MONKEY SPUNK.
Thank goodness that Lori was able to hit the brakes and slow us down to under sixty before we slammed into this numbnutted retard. I am also very thankful that there was nothing behind us close enough to crash into us (particularly a goddamn gas tanker). I am also thankful that Lori’s daughter was not with us. And last but not least, I am thankful that an old man in a wheelchair was not tied to the back of Lori’s car using a water ski rope to be pulled down the interstate at high rates of speed. He most certainly would have been reduced to a fleshy bag of bloody pulp. That would have been unforgivable.
I might not be as upset about this if Pops would not have been killed two weeks ago….But then again I might. People this fucking dumb always make me want to kill something small and fluffy.
I’m just glad we are all O.K. Fuck.
Frothtonomy 