Breaking The Law…no wait…The Wind…oh no…wait… no, IT IS the Law!

If you fart in this particular country in Africa… you are now a criminal.

I wish this was a joke, but it is not.  Read for yourself here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1351174/African-country-set-make-breaking-wind-crime.html

So now in Malawi, if you pass gas, you could end up passing some time behind bars too.  After the passing of this law, it is a misdemeanor to “foul the air.”  How the FUCK is this going to be enforced.

Remember in America when everybody’s neighbor tried to turn in each other for being communists and shit.  I suppose that will happen all the time now.  I can hear the defense now “How do you know it was me…prove it. Smell my butt.”  or “I swear on the pubes of Christ that it was that old guy…not me, your honor.”

This brings up some other questions.  Will they begin to arrest burrito vendors for assisting in comitting a crime?  Do they even have burritos in Africa?  Will beans be kept under lock and key like they do with cold medicine here in the states now?  What happens if you take a dump in your pants?  Is that a felony?

What if you burp, but it smells like a parvo-stricken walrus took a crap in your mouth?  Will they let that slide since it did not come out of your ass?  Can lactose intolerant folks get an exemption from this?

Do they not have more pressing issues in Africa?  If they are so bored that they want to prosecute folks that fart…maybe they could have a food drive and send it over to Ethiopia.  That might be a better use of time.

This law is beyond stupid.  It is so bad that I cannot believe it has not been debated in the halls of our own government yet.  This just screams for a misuse of about three billion dollars of tax money for a corrupt study to find out how bad farting, indeed, fouls the air.

Hell, they spent over a quarter million on a study that determined that cow burps were depleting the ozone layer (FOR REAL…I’m not making that up).

Well…I guess I better grab dinner at the taco cart so I can enjoy farting before that right is taken away from me in the states like they are doing in Africa.

Farting is a right…right??

~ by millsap on February 1, 2011.